"If music be the food of love, play on."

Or, if you like: "Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness." ~ Maya Angelou

At the height of my loneliness and pain, comfort seemed very hard to come by except from the angels in my life.  And I'm not sure I can say I found refuge in music - the pain didn't lessen and the tears usually flowed even more freely - but I certainly found a kinship with two songs in particular.  Two songs that penetrated through my heartache and tears and soothed something deep down in a way that only music seems to be able to do. 

My husband and I recently discussed a revelation about music.  He turned to me as we were driving home after a much needed vacation: You know how they say smell is the sense strongest tied to memory? I think songs are tied just as strongly, perhaps even more. A particular song encapsulates all of the feelings and events of a specific moment in time in one's life. Well, these two songs will always remind of this time in my life and conjure the teeter-tottering emotions that have and continue to surround me. 

Knowing how I was able to repeatedly turn to these reliable aural allies, I wish to share them with those who might also find them a comfort. I continue to do so. And I urge, if these lines of poetry strike a chord (pun intended), find your way to the music and curl up in the notes as well as the words. 

I recently discovered Mumford & Sons, and "After the Storm" has a power over me now for which I will always be grateful.  

"After The Storm"
Mumford & Sons

And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

I will die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and man so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair. 

________________________

And KT Tunstall has been a favorite of mine for years (LOVE her). She has always spoken to me, but I've rediscovered "Heal Over." 

"Heal Over"

KT Tunstall

It isn't very difficult to see why
You are the way you are
Doesn't take a genius to realize
That sometimes life is hard
It's gonna take time
But you'll just have to wait
You're gonna be fine
But in the meantime

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away
Come a little nearer baby
Coz you'll heal over
Heal over
Heal over someday

And I don't wanna hear you tell yourself
That these feelings are in the past
You know it doesn't mean they're off the shelf
Because pain's built to last
Everybody sails alone
But we can travel side by side
Even if you fail
You know that no one really minds

Don't hold on but don't let go
I know it's so hard
You've got to try to trust yourself
I know it's so hard, so hard

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away
Come a little nearer baby
Coz you'll heal over, heal over, heal over someday